Brother / Policeman / Defence attorney / British pedestrian / Mr. Harrison (Apricot) / The Colonel / 'Hell's Grannies' policeman / Jimmy Blankensop / Sir Edward Ross / Restaurant patron #1 / Letter Writer / Oliver St. John Mollusk / Mountie / Town Guild Lady

Gumby / Man with tape recorder / Phrasebook Author / Arthur Pewtey / Second self - defence student / Second Tenant / Lost His Wallet / Shrill Petrol Announcer / Milkman / Ernest Scribbler / Pet shop employee / Lumberjack / Headwaiter Gilberto / Herbert Anchovy / Blackmail Presenter / Gervais Brookhamster / Town Guild Lady

Deirdre Pewtey / Storyteller / Milkman Collector / Restaurant Patron #2 / Elspeth